Penisnews is no different than my lovely stash of "chocolate" labeled products. His diary name drew me like a moth to the battery-operated insect lantern.

Imagine it, dear reader. Meena Moth flitting around a non-descript porch, playing coyly with the extended rays of light-blue fluorescence, when suddenly she spots the words "penis" and "news." "Two great tastes that taste great together," Meena Moth thinks to herself. Looking around to see if anyone will witness her perversions, she flits around the premises. She checks the other Accordingly Moths' locations; Mr Cadbury Moth is just getting home from work, Guildenstern Moth is searching for his next 'deluxe' video game, and Daath Moth is looking for something edifying. After this, Meena Moth rationalizes her decisions in inspecting penisnews.

1. He needs a review
2. The other reviewers, all Boy Moths, will most likely NOT want to look at a bug lantern that has the word 'penis' in it unless 'penis' is preceded by their names.
3. Meena Moth likes penises. Meena Moth likes news. But will she like penisnews?

She lands on the warm glass of the lantern, too distracted by the flashy sign to hear the faint buzzing hum of warning coming from the machine's core. Inching her way closer to what she perceives is the door leading to penis heaven, Meena Moth notices that the spot is REALLY quite uncomfortable and HOT; much like hell. Hélas!- it is too late!

ZAP! A slight BZZZZT sound ends Meena Moth's life as her crunchy thorax sizzles and burns. Coincidentally, that sound ends my ridiculous referrals to myself as "Meena Moth."

me: "say something amusing"
her: "no..."

Me: Say something amusing.
Penisnews: No.

Two words adequately describe my disappointment: fallacious labeling. Sure, there is talk about his penis, but not enough to warrant a title. The journal is comprised mostly of penisnews' nightly chats with his long-distance girlfriend and the way he feels about her. It's a love diary, which, I admit is sweet at times and the boy writes so honestly that it's hard to not let empathy wash over my(once-a-long-distance-girlfriend)self. The topic in his diary rarely changes though, and because of that over-exposure, bathos took over for pathos.

On a brighter note, Penisnews' journal reminds me of letters between philosophers/writers and their mistresses, only with "ten times more chocolate." If I didn't just read Abélard and his way of going on and on and on about Héloïse and how much he loves her, I might have given this diary a slightly better score. Unfortunately, I did, so penisnews is to suffer a similar fate to Abélard's at the hands of Marked Accordingly.