I always knew I was ahead of my time, but I never suspected that I was a God. I still think it's a bit early to be hailing me as the new Messiah, but I worked out what was going on right from the start. It's quite clear to me that the owl guy is the perpetrator of all the evil which has swept across the land. You did what with the what now? I couldn't help noticing that theatre company-cum-self gratifyingly masturbatory advertising campaign, flexible deadlock, are doing an open-air production of Pericles. I hear the section where Pericles goes on a Greyhound bus tour of America and is attacked by knifemen on New York's Subway makes an interesting addition to the original text. Alternatively, to get every GUY in the world to PM you on Yahoo! Chat, go into ANY chatroom with ANY Yahoo! ID which begins with the prefix "hot". Not that I ever did, of course.... Just that.... If you WANTED to...... Wow! It sounds as if I'll never need to buy another Colin Bell Simulator again! I DIDN'T WATCH THE USUAL SUSPECTS!! I was in the shower, and you'd said that you were going to tape it, so.... You neglected to mention the fact that you were also going to e-mail me and say "So, the butler did it, eh? Bet not many punters had their money on THAT outcome...." Seeing as I've written my essay, I don't need to go to the Ulysses lectures! But, seeing as I've lost my timetable, I don't know what lectures are on Ulysses, so I can't miss them.... Anyway, I'd better go, just in case I find out something that totally contradicts everything I've written in my essay.

Dr. Coyle: "And so, I think we can conclude, without ANY fear of contradiction, that the cartoon was NOT better than the book."
Thomas: "Fuck......"

How the HELL do you get more money in Zelda? I need to get 200 rupees to buy all those silly shirts and stuff! The Seven Samurai would NEVER have beaten The Magnificent Seven! How WOULD they?! The Magnificent Seven had guns and Steve McQueen and EVERYTHING! Oh! OH, that's cheeky! You know something? See that James Joyce? See the nest time I see him, he's getting fucking k-NIFED. Oh, there's someone at the door. It better not be that Posthumous again.

It would have been worth a San Marinese death just to see what FIFA would have done about it.