Dear readers,

Rather than witter interminably on about the rather jejune affairs of the Marked Accordingly staff, I've asked my good friend, Academy Award nominee Oscar Wilde, to write and direct his own dramatisation of this, yet another torpid and entirely uneventful week for MA. Take it away, Oscar!

Algernon: "Well, Lane, it's been another torpid and uneventful week for Marked Accordingly."

Lane: "It seems so, sir."

Algernon: "Yes. Most unlikely that anything interesting will happen now."

Lane: "It certainly appears that way, sir."

Algernon: "But WAIT! It's the tempestuous Max and Angel Samson, the new owners of Marked Accordingly! Their incessant interference, callous manipulation and loose sexual morals are SURE to be a source of constant friction with the loyal members of the MA staff, especially the ever-irascible Guildenstern!"

Max Samson: "Don't mind us, just passing through."

Lane: "Right as always, sir."