Not so much a game, as a quite inspired parody of 80's Jungle Conservation techniques and possibly singer/lothario Tom Jones' medallion-man ways: Sabre Wulf manages to entrance and delight in equal measures. Sorry, that's wrong. Sabre Wulf manages to entrance and delight my mother in equal measures.

Now, with all games of the kill-or-be-killed genre, you had to get your on-screen persona - the cunningly-named Sabre Man - to kill everything in his path. Absolutely everything. I remember in the hazy way that memories often have that the instructions had a list of evil natural organisms that you had to kill in your quest. The malevolent threat of the fruit bat must be extinguished! Somewhat paradoxically, though, the threat from the fruit bat was very, very real; as one brush against Sabre Man's skin showed - causing Sabre Man to fly across the screen in pain and land right on his arse. Curse you, fruit bat! Your time will come!

Of course, there has to be some plot to this! All this senseless killing must have a point - if Arnold Schwarzenegger films have a barely detectable plot, then surely this game must have one; and it does. A plot based upon the promise of wild sex with virgins.

It is a well-known fact that computer games in the 80's were geared towards the males. Males like the idea of sex, even if they aren't getting any, so it naturally follows that a lot of computer games tread the chauvinistic boardwalk of sexual imagery. Thrusting sabres? Jungles? The end of the game where after piecing together the medallion that the ladies lust after, you make it into the final room of the game - the bedroom - where you have to get Sabre Man into the Cavern Of Plenty, but WHAT'S THIS? The weak, but nonetheless, present Guardian Hymen trying to stop you from entering! It is, of course, to no avail, as you easily manage to pass through. It's all in the timing. I apologise to you for giving the false notion that it isn't all that enjoyable. It is one of the classic games from history; simple, yet quite enjoyable to this day. Well worth waiting for a couple of seconds to get it.

NOTE : If you decide to download Sabre Wulf, use the "Cursor Joystick" option - it means you can use the cursor keys on your keyboard to move and the number 0 to thrust your sabre into poor, defenceless creatures.